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Howard, Sir Henry (1843-1921) Knight, diplomat
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Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, the Hague; addressed to Bob at 3 Hare Court, Inner Temple, London E. C. and forwarded to him at Penmenner House, The Lizard, Cornwall. - Her uncle has gone to his meeting, so she has not been able yet to ask him about Bob's letter to [Henry] Turing; should be able to do so before dinner and send off this letter then; would like it to reach Bob tomorrow in London if possible. Now feels they ought to invite Turing to the wedding breakfast; they need not ask him to be a witness, since Louise [Hubrecht?]'s brother or [Abraham?] Bredius could do that, but Ambro [Hubrecht] and Marie, whom she visited at Utrecht last Sunday, both thought he should be invited to the meal; recommends that Bob not mention it in his letter, and when they ask him at a later date 'if he is a tactful & discreet person he will refuse'. Agrees with her uncle that Bob should write to the consul, and not just to Sir H. H. [Henry Howard, the British ambassador] since there are many legal arrangements to make with which Sir Henry would not be able to help; does not want to come under obligation to invite Sir Henry and his wife to the wedding, especially as he is a 'kind of relation'; will however explain Bob's objections to her uncle. Has had quite a lot of worry about these questions - had to go to bed 'in a flood of tears' one night when she was finishing "Cyrano de Bergerac' - but is feeling calmer about them now.

Takes up the letter again having talked to her uncle; as expected he thinks that Bob should send a letter to Turing through Sir Henry Howard and adds that it shows respect to Turing to communicate with him directly. Hopes Bob will write from Cornwall. Thanks him for enclosing the poem, which she likes very much; also found the Heine song and saw that Bob 'really can write German now' though he still makes some mistakes. Draws a sketch of what she would like to look like on her wedding day to show what a Watteau pleat looks like [see 9/45]; she will not look exactly like a Watteau lady, as they often wore very short petticoats and were much décolleté. Tells Bob the groom usually gives the bride an orange flower bouquet. Encloses a piece of the silk from which the dress is to be made. Is going to dine with her aunt now; signs off with Dutch endearments.

Letter from Sir George Trevelyan to Paul François Hubrecht

8 Grosvenor Crescent, S.W. - He and his wife wish to leave the question of whether there should be a religious ceremony for Robert and Elizabeth's marriage to Hubrecht and his wife. They 'quite sympathise' with the desire for the marriage party to be 'quiet and familar', as their own wedding was the same; will not ask Hubrecht to invite any of their relations from England but will come alone with Robert's two brothers and ask if an apartment could be reserved at the hotel for them; will arrange about rooms for the servants themselves. They have no relations in the Netherlands but Sir Henry Howard; the connection between his family and theirs has been 'so old and honourable', and he has shown such marked recent kindness, that Sir George wishes him and his wife to invited to the luncheon. Has written a separate note [13/48] about the papers he is sending for Hubrecht's inspection; will have them immediately engrossed for Robert to sign once they come back from the Netherlands.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, Hague; addressed to Bob at Penmenner House, The Lizard, Cornwall and forwarded to him at 3 Hare Court, Inner Temple, London. - Will study the patterns Bob has sent her and send them to London, with her choice for his 'nuptial trousers' and travelling suit. Will speak again to her uncle about Bob's objections to writing himself to the consul [Henry Turing]. Entreats Bob for Sir Henry House and his wife not to be invited to the wedding breakfast: her uncle and aunt, who will send out the invitations, do not know the Howards at all so it does not matter that they are 'very distant relations', while their presence would give 'a different ton to the whole business' and make her miserable. It is also likely that Grandmont and Bramine would not come if the Howards were invited, due to their objection to 'jingos'. Does not see it as necessary to invite the Howards, unless Bob's parents wish it especially. Sometimes wishes they could marry 'quietly without anyone near', though knows it could be a lovely day with happy memories; wishes people could 'take it easier'. Returns to the letter after a walk with her aunt, who agrees with her about having to give up part of her musical interests after marriage; understand what Bob means, and thinks she may have expressed herself too strongly in her first letter [9/45], which is the 'wretched side of correspondence'; will wait until she sees him to discuss it. Sees what Bob means about Mrs [Helen] Fry's cigarette smoking; cannot quite feel as he does yet; knows she does have 'a great and natural tendency to rectilineal & rather exclusive argumentation'; hopes she can 'suspend judgment' as Bob says. Does not know enough about German literature to comment on what he says about German literature, but emphasises the advantage, 'which the English nation as a whole is slow & rare in acknowledging' of being able to talk to foreigners in their own language; as an example, it was a real shame that Bob and [Julius Engelbert] Röntgen were unable to converse properly; this is why she was so disappointed when he once refused to learn as 'it seemed such an insular British way of looking at it'. Ordered the book [Stevenson's "The Suicide Club"] for Jan [Hubrecht] and he was very pleased. Mr Kattendijke and Mr Loudon are coming to make music this afternoon. Lula [Julius Röntgen] is recovering from his severe illness. Joachim is going to play with his quartet in Amsterdam next Saturday, and Mien has got her a ticket; will stay with Mrs Guye [or Guije], Gredel's mother; would love to go to the supper party the Röntgens are having for Joachim after the concert but expects Mien has too many guests to invite her. Is glad not to see Bob with his beard, and hopes he never decides to grow one. Asks who Jacobi is, and for Bob to tell him what 'the Cambridge Moore [i.e. George] thinks of his play.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

c/o Mrs Salomonson, 49 Wierdensche Straat, Almelo; addressed to Bob at the Mill House, Westcott, Dorking, Surrey. - Has been a week since Bob last wrote; hopes he is all right, and that he is in the country enjoying the sun. Went for a long drive yesterday to a place with an old castle and 'lovely wood' where they sat outside and had lunch; Jeanne [Salomonson Asser] seems well and happy and is very kind; gave Bessie a 'wonderful piece' of imitation Venice lace which she had worked herself, as well as an antique copper basket for flowers or fruit; Jeanne's husband went away yesterday, and Bessie is not sorry that she will see little of him again since she does not like him much, though he and Jeanne are happy and seem well suited. Jeanne has confided some little worries about her marriage which Bessie will tell Bob about later; does not think Jeanne ought to reproach herself as her husband does not seem to completely understand her. Received a telegram from Alice Jones this morning asking if she could come two weeks later; this will not be possible as they are repainting the rooms then and Bessie will be too busy; hopes Alice will still come. Writes later after receiving Bob's two letters. Discusses the material for Bob's wedding clothes again. Is glad he has written the letters to Sir Henry [Howard] and the consul [Henry Turing]. Would love to go to see Dan Leno with Bob some time. No reason why Bob should not go on sending letters to Irene Locco and writing letters to her, as long as Bessie and Bob love each other 'in the right way'. Tomorrow it is 'Venus day', as well as birthday and death day of Shakespeare. Is reading Turgenieff's "Väter und Söhne" [Fathers and Sons], which she thinks Bob has talked about, having read it in English translation as "Generations"; thinks it wonderful.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, the Hague. - Has just received Bob's letter with the long explanation about his father's request; she understands, and had already said she would withdraw any objection [to inviting Sir Henry Howard to the wedding] if his parents wished it. She had made an objection 'long before the Grandmonts thought of it', but did not realize the Howards were 'so much & friendly related' to Bob's father. Has resolved not to be as worried about these things; it is not possible to insist on 'an ideal day'. Will talk to her uncle and ask him to send the invitation; hopes the Grandmonts will not decide to stay away, and agrees they should be told at once; Bramine knows how much it would hurt her if they did not come. Hopes they have forwarded the letter with her photograph to him. Originally enclosing the pattern she prefers for Bob's trousers. Tomorrow, she and Alice [Jones] are going sight-seeing in Amsterdam; they have talked a great deal about their school days; went to the English church with her this morning and did not enjoy yourself. Would be nice if Bob wrote a letter to thank the servants; thinks it would be best to send it to Booa [Mary Prestwich], but he should ask his mother who 'knows her people better'.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

Hague. - Talked to her uncle this evening, but he did not respond as well as she thought he would to the suggestion that [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife should be invited to the wedding; these days he cannot grasp a new idea 'without making a difficulty, an obstacle out of it'; this time he said the character of the occasion would be changed and it would become a 'state party', and she assured him she did not mind. Since he has never met the Howards he felt he could not invite them; she told him to think about the idea until Bob came over, when he may get to know them and ask them. Thinks it will all come right; his habit of making difficulties is 'infectious' and she asks Bob to help her resist this tendency in herself.

Returns to the letter on Tuesday morning [1 May]: wishes Bob were there to ''help & comfort her' since her uncle has been 'raging' at her for suggesting writing to the Grandmonts to tell them about perhaps inviting Sir Henry. Her aunt has just talked to her about it: they are 'very much against ' being obliged to ask someone they do not know and do not really care to ask; tells Bob this privately and thinks it best to wait now until he comes over and can talk to her uncle himself. It might be even better, if Bob's father strongly wishes the Howards to be invited, that he write and say so himself to her uncle, and give him an introduction to them. She only wanted to be totally frank, and thought telling her uncle how strongly Bob's father felt would persuade him; instead she has made him 'feel offended' at the idea of Bob's father 'wishing to govern' his invitations and 'threatening' that he would not come over if the Howards were not invited. Feels very helpless; hates to 'make a "stand" against people'; her uncle is very hard to deal with and her aunt just supports him. Poor Alice Jones must know something is going on, but she cannot discuss this with her.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

The Hague. - Returned from Amsterdam to find Bob and his mother's letters; is very sorry that he has spoken to his parents about her 'unfortunate letter', which caused his father to decide not to come over for the wedding, when she had emphasised that she was writing about her conversations with her uncle privately as she 'knew & hoped' he would reconsider; was writing in despondent mood after hearing her uncle's first objection to [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife being asked, but he always makes difficulties and then thinks differently, and had never decided in any case that he would not invite them. He was disturbed that day as he had misunderstood what she was saying about the Grandmonts, and thought she planned to write and tell them 'point blank' that the Howards were to be invited, without persuading them to come all the same. Bob seems to think it would be simpler for his father not to come, but she tells him it would be 'simply terrible': she would be very unhappy, and her uncle and aunt would be very disappointed, and probably very angry with her for writing so openly to Bob about what they say. She has written this afternoon in her 'despair' to Bob's father explaining the matter frankly, trying to make him see her point of view and begging him to reconsider his decision. Know this was 'very bold' and hopes Sir George will forgive her; asks Bob to try and persuade him to come as well. Bob's mother's letter was very kind, but she is 'horribly frightened' to think what she has done; should never have written to Bob as she did but did think he would keep it private. Very sweet of Bob to think of coming over sooner, but it is not necessary.

Letter concludes on a separate sheet [9/67]. Told Bob's father she would not tell her uncle about his decision until she heard again from him, so is 'walking about with the awful weight' upon her and nobody to share it

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, the Hague. - Received the letter Bob wrote on Friday this morning, which did her 'a great deal of good': she needs to be told that it is not worth getting depressed over little things on the 'frontier of [their] promised land'; will try to stay calm and wait to hear from his parents in response to her letter to his father. Last night she talked the matter [whether to invite Sir Henry Howard to the wedding] over with her uncle again; he still has objections but did not come to any firm conclusion, and they agreed it would be best to wait until Bob's arrival. Sir George's letter, though, may 'upset all', as she would have to explain to her uncle and aunt about his decision [not to come to the wedding] if he does not change his mind. Does not think Bob realises that it would then look as if his father was 'mortally offended & angry', and her uncle would be sure to take it that way, which might lead to a 'brouille [quarrel]' between them. She has seen the misery of quarrels often in her life and would be very sorry if anything of the kind took place. Tells Bob he ought not to miss the [Cambridge] Apostles' dinner on 13 June; they could perhaps go to Blackdown for a while so he could go to Cambridge for it; will be 'a great thing' for him to be there 'so soon after [he has] obtained the dignity of a married man'. Is glad about [Charles] Sanger but wants to hear more.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, the Hague. - Things are looking 'a little brighter': if Bob is at Grosvenor Crescent he will have heard from his father about her letter to him and his response; asks whether his father or he thinks it was wrong of her to write. Sir George said she ought to tell her uncle at once about his wife's letter; was glad he seemed not to have entirely made up his mind not to come. Has had a long talk with her uncle, which resulted in him writing a draft letter to Bob's father that she thinks 'will entirely clear up the matter'; he was 'very distressed' when he realised the possible consequences. Her uncle writes that if Bob's father writes a few lines saying he would like to see [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife at the wedding, this will serve as an introduction and he will go and call on them; he also writes that in his son Ambro's view, the presence of the Howards means that the wedding should be celebrated in the English church, and Bessie was 'so astounded' she forgot to tell him the Howards are Roman Catholic so she does not think they 'care a hang'; she told him this morning. Her uncle has sent Ambro the draft letter to see what he thinks. She has felt very lonely and distressed, but now everything is all right and she is looking forward very much to Bob's arrival; feels 'incompleteness' without him, as if her '"moitié", as Grandmont always says' had been taken away. Hopes he has had a good time with [Desmond] MacCarthy and [Oswald] Sickert. Thinks the idea of going to stay near Roundhurst for a few days at the beginning of the honeymoon is 'delightful'. He seems to have had nice [wedding] presents; she is keeping a list of them. Mentions again that Alice Jones wanted to give her a book; her aunt at Hilversum has sent an antique silver clothes-brush. Tried on her wedding-dress the other day and felt 'enormously grand with a train'. Is doing her accounts for the year.

Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

10 Prinsegracht, the Hague. - Her uncle received Bob's letter with 'all the legal papers, settlement etc.' last night. Asks if Bob read through the settlement; she tried to last night but did not understand everything, nor did her uncle, so he has sent it to his lawyer to have it explained and they will return it as soon as possible. Her uncle was surprised not to find the marriage contract enclosed; thinks he expects Bob to write saying he approves and sending the contract back. Does not now feel 'bitter' about the earlier tensions as she loves and understands her uncle too much. [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife called yesterday and left cards, so the 'bridge' is formed. Is busy with packing and clearing; tonight she will look through an interesting old collection of papers relating to her mother's life and marriage with her uncle; she will certainly want to keep her mother's own letters. Tomorrow she is lunching with her 'only Dutch co-senior of St. Andrews, a girl from Rotterdam whose mother was an old friend of Bramine [Hubrecht]'s. Likes the clavichord present all the more as she thinks of it; thinks it very nice of Bob's friends; asks if Mrs [Helen] Fry [who decorated it] is pleased, and what 'poor Dolmetsch' will do without it. Teases Bob for having 'wedding presents from nice young lady friends [Lily Hodgkin] sent over from Dresden' and keeping it secret from her; she found out from Alice Jones. Tells him not to forget the parcel Booa will give him, nor the gold spectacles; he should also bring his play and any other poems he likes.

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