Welcombe, Stratford on Avon. - Glad to hear that Robert has landed safely; 'awful to read' of the passengers on the cross-Channel boats kept at sea all night by bad weather; asks 'is even Assisi worth such a price?'. Would love to see Arezzo again and wants to know what the hotel was like; it used to be spoken of as the 'best hotel between Florence and Rome', before Brufani [at Perugia], and he thinks his parents and sister were 'the first names in the hotel book'. Notes what Robert says about [Samuel Butler's] "Fair Haven" and will see to it. Cannot 'manage Conrad as a novelist', nor Chesterton as an essayist. has been reading about the Phalaris controversy with great 'interest and amusement'; George gave him a copy of Attenbury's 1698 book a while ago, and he got Bentley's "Phalaris" as a prize at Harrow; they bear out everything that [Thomas] Macaulay says. Good to be 'in company with so strong and able a man as Bentley', whatever the topic; he is an even greater controversialist than Newman, Porson, Gibbon or Pascal.
First line: ‘I’ll tell you a Story, a Story that true is’. A ballad, relating an imaginary dialogue between King George I and Bishop Atterbury, recently banished as a Jacobite conspirator.
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Transcript
I’ll tell you a Story, a Story that true is,
Concerning a Monarch whose name is George Lewis, {1}
And he is a Prince, & a Prince of great might,
Tho’ he cares not a half penny how be came by ’t.
More over good People a Story you’ll hear,
Concerning the Abbott of Westminster, {2}
And he is a Priest & a Priest of renown,
Tho’ now he is banish’d from fair London town. {3}
The King then to this Abbot he sent
And tax’d him with Treason against his Government,
And told him it was a most dangerous thing,
For a Priest to pretend to more sense than his King.
To the King then the Abbot would faine† have reply’d
Fore† surely the fact he would not have denyed
But the King bid him answer him questions three
Or his head should be Sever’d from his Body.
When I am seated on my royall Throne,
Surrounded by Kendal, {4} my Turks {5} & my Son, {6}
Trust up in my Robes, my Crown, & so forth
You must tell me directly how much I am worth
The Next without hesitation or doubt
How soon I may ride my Dominions throughout
The third Question you must not Shrink
But tell me truly on what I do think.
I need not set any Price on your Throne
The Abbot replyed, for it is none of your own,
But pay for the Stock, that your Whores & you bought.
And by just computation you’re not worth a groat.
The Next without hesitation or Doubt
How soon you may ride your Dominions throughout
Set out when Don Phœbus begins to Shine
And you’ll be out of Hanover eer you need dine.
Two questions resolved at the third I’ll not Shrink
But tell you directly on what you do think
Why now see his Highness coming in at the door
You think he’s not yours but the Son of a Whore
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{1} King George I.
{2} Francis Atterbury, Dean of Westminster and Bishop of Rochester.
{3} Atterbury was exiled by Parliament as a Jacobite conspirator in 1723. He left the country on 18 June.
{4} Melusine von der Schulenberg, one of the king’s mistresses. She was created Duchess of Kendal in her own right in 1719.
{5} Mustapha and Mahomet, the king's two favourite valets, taken captive during one of his Turkish campaigns (Dictionary of National Biography).
{6} The Prince of Wales, the future George II.