Item 55 - Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

Hague. - Talked to her uncle this evening, but he did not respond as well as she thought he would to the suggestion that [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife should be invited to the wedding; these days he cannot grasp a new idea 'without making a difficulty, an obstacle out of it'; this time he said the character of the occasion would be changed and it would become a 'state party', and she assured him she did not mind. Since he has never met the Howards he felt he could not invite them; she told him to think about the idea until Bob came over, when he may get to know them and ask them. Thinks it will all come right; his habit of making difficulties is 'infectious' and she asks Bob to help her resist this tendency in herself.

Returns to the letter on Tuesday morning [1 May]: wishes Bob were there to ''help & comfort her' since her uncle has been 'raging' at her for suggesting writing to the Grandmonts to tell them about perhaps inviting Sir Henry. Her aunt has just talked to her about it: they are 'very much against ' being obliged to ask someone they do not know and do not really care to ask; tells Bob this privately and thinks it best to wait now until he comes over and can talk to her uncle himself. It might be even better, if Bob's father strongly wishes the Howards to be invited, that he write and say so himself to her uncle, and give him an introduction to them. She only wanted to be totally frank, and thought telling her uncle how strongly Bob's father felt would persuade him; instead she has made him 'feel offended' at the idea of Bob's father 'wishing to govern' his invitations and 'threatening' that he would not come over if the Howards were not invited. Feels very helpless; hates to 'make a "stand" against people'; her uncle is very hard to deal with and her aunt just supports him. Poor Alice Jones must know something is going on, but she cannot discuss this with her.