Stuk 32 - Letter from Edwin Montagu to Venetia Stanley

12 Kensington Palace Gardens, London.—Apologises for being ‘dismal’ this evening. He is miserable at the thought that he has lied to Parliament, in spirit if not in words, and that he continues to be merely the tool of bureaucrats.

TRANSCRIPT:

12 Kensington Palace Gardens, W.
March 11th 1912.

My very dear Venetia

I cant go to bed without a word to you, not to ask you to keep to yourself everything I told you tonight for that I know you will do, but just to apologise for having been so dismal this evening.

I did enjoy it really, but I was thinking all the time of other things and very tired with a contest which I know I shall lose but which I must fight.

Of course I dont suppose I can really go; the most insignificant counts and to increase the worries of the Prime, just now, or even my chief who is always kindness itself even when he disagrees, is unthinkable.

After all although I dont often realise it, it may be braver and more unselfish and more difficult to do a dishonourable thing than the righteous one and perhaps after all too I ought to remember I am merely a telephone and not responsible. I fear I’m not much use in politics because I take these things too seriously and it does seem absurd in this coal strike to be worrying about a matter that will interest nobody but Byles! But nevertheless I cant help feeling very miserable at the thought that I have lied in spirit if not in words (and I think the latter) to the H. of C. and that I am going to be as I have indeed been all along the tool of a bureaucracy which despises politicians and which has put into my mouth words which I could never have used if I knew the objects for which they had been carefully chosen.

Thats the situation and its pretty horrible and it would be bad enough if it stood alone. But there are other little worries too. Nevertheless I feel thoroughly conscious that the part I ought to be most ashamed of is worrying you with it. You who have been so much to me, ought not to be brought to this muddle. Forgive me and if it is any excuse take this, that talking did help me.

Yrs very gratefully
Edwin S. Montagu

If you can say anything a line is always appreciated.

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Black-edged paper.