Item 56 - Letter from Elizabeth des Amorie van der Hoeven to R. C. Trevelyan

The Hague. - Returned from Amsterdam to find Bob and his mother's letters; is very sorry that he has spoken to his parents about her 'unfortunate letter', which caused his father to decide not to come over for the wedding, when she had emphasised that she was writing about her conversations with her uncle privately as she 'knew & hoped' he would reconsider; was writing in despondent mood after hearing her uncle's first objection to [Sir Henry] Howard and his wife being asked, but he always makes difficulties and then thinks differently, and had never decided in any case that he would not invite them. He was disturbed that day as he had misunderstood what she was saying about the Grandmonts, and thought she planned to write and tell them 'point blank' that the Howards were to be invited, without persuading them to come all the same. Bob seems to think it would be simpler for his father not to come, but she tells him it would be 'simply terrible': she would be very unhappy, and her uncle and aunt would be very disappointed, and probably very angry with her for writing so openly to Bob about what they say. She has written this afternoon in her 'despair' to Bob's father explaining the matter frankly, trying to make him see her point of view and begging him to reconsider his decision. Know this was 'very bold' and hopes Sir George will forgive her; asks Bob to try and persuade him to come as well. Bob's mother's letter was very kind, but she is 'horribly frightened' to think what she has done; should never have written to Bob as she did but did think he would keep it private. Very sweet of Bob to think of coming over sooner, but it is not necessary.

Letter concludes on a separate sheet [9/67]. Told Bob's father she would not tell her uncle about his decision until she heard again from him, so is 'walking about with the awful weight' upon her and nobody to share it