Stuk 128 - Letter from Venetia Stanley to Edwin Montagu

[By the sea at Wimereux, and at the British Hospital.]—Has received his letter and a parcel. Reassures him of her love for him. She has been bored, but may be able to see Anthony if he doesn’t go back to England tomorrow. She cannot explain her reasons for postponing her return.

TRANSCRIPT:

June 8th 1915 Tuesday 7.15.

My darlingest your letter came very quickly it has just arrived, I found it on coming in from rather a dreary walk along the beach, & now I’ve come out again onto the top of the cliff to answer it, Its rather a lovely grey evening, and if only it wasnt as crowded as Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday it would be perfect. I’ve been interrupted for ages by a tiresome “Sister” who came and sat down by me & asked me if I were clever? When I said I wasnt she said Oh I expect you are awfully brilliant & poetical. Still nothing to do here but eat. Thank you again for further stores they’ve arrived just as we were all feeling the need of something more to (further interruption by 3 orderlies) eat than cheese or jam. Will you tell Lee if you can remember that he neednt bother to send any tea, but everything else is delicious, nor perhaps quite so much soup, tho’ it has kept a pneumonia patient alive for weeks.

You are an angel to think of it, I’ve written you horrid letters since I saw you, & I wanted them to be so delicious. Because I have to convince you dont I, that I love you. Its quite true you are suspicious of me, you’ll never really trust me in that way, and, as long as you mind what I feel, be liable to attacks such as you had at Nice. Just imagine what your feelings wd have been if on opening my watch you’d found a photograph of Grant! Would you have minded darling? I hope you would, I should have been seriously disturbed if you hadnt. But you are wrong in a way not to be more sure that I love you (you may even boast of it if you like if it wont annoy Violet.) I shall certainly be quite unable to conceal the fact if I’m not, tho’ I can imagine not telling you if someone else was fond of me. But thats a very remote possibility, & so lets be very happy, because I do really dote on you, and you, in spite of Mrs Addison are sufficiently soppy about me.

I dreamt last night most vividly that I was turned away from home and came round to your house where I was told by Lee I couldnt see you as you were talking to Mrs Peto & on no ac-count were to be disturbed. Wasnt that humiliating?

I’ve been rather bored these last two days, not having had half enough to do; but Anthony writes to me this evening that after all he may not be able to get away to England tomorrow which may mean we are again busy. It will also mean that I havent Saturday to look forward to.

Lady Norman gave me a knowing leer about you which I passed of[f] with a haughty look.

I’ve had to finish this in bed, which I find not actually [a] comfortable way of writing so I shall stop.

Why arent I going to see you in just a fortnight for ever? I want to, but cant. Can you understand my êtat d’âme at all. I’m not very good at explaining it

Goodnight
Venetia

I didnt mean to rob you of so considerable a sum as 100 francs, so I enclose a cheque.

I think when that note is spent I may come home.

—————

Written by the sea at Wimereux, and at the British Hospital there.