Stuk 72 - Letter from R. C. Trevelyan to Caroline Trevelyan

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TRER/46/72

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Letter from R. C. Trevelyan to Caroline Trevelyan

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  • 15 Nov 1899 (Vervaardig)

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10 Prinsegracht, The Hague, Holland ['Hotel' written first, and crossed out] :- Does not know whether he told her he was stopping for a few days here on his way to Italy, where he will (as she knows) spend the winter at Ravello. Thinks [Desmond] MacCarthy will join him here soon and they will travel there together. Meanwhile, he is writing something to her that she should tell his father 'and no one else at present. In fact this letter is to Papa as well'. He has told her about his 'Dutch friends, the Hubrechts and the Grandmonts', but not everything he would have liked to: would have liked to have said that he 'had made very great friends with one of them especially, Miss [Elizabeth] Van der Hoeven'. Saw a good deal of her earlier in the year at Taormina when she was staying with the Grandmonts. Says 'after thinking it over carefully from every point of view' he 'told her how fond [he] had become of her' before returning to England from his trip to Holland in September. As he expected, 'and as was only right, she did not give [him] any definite answer' but asked for things to stay as they were for a while, and 'to say nothing to anyone else', which is the 'sole reason' he has not told his parents though he 'came very near' when he last saw them in London.

However, now 'something has come of it; and she does feel quite certain in her mind now that it is the best thing', so he is writing at once to his parents. Of course it is a 'great pity' that they do not know her and her family, but he 'saw no possible way of bringing that about'. She has told her uncle and aunt, her guardians since she is an orphan; since they know him, and have heard about him from the Grandmonts, they 'have no objections, providing of course that [Robert's parents] have none'. It is 'very difficult' for him to explain everything, though he knows 'complete explanation is rather necessary': the 'most important thing perhaps' is that Robert and Miss van der Hoeven 'are both quite certain in [their] own minds' that they wish to get married, and he thinks neither of them 'are really either rash or thoughtless'; in fact they have 'thought and talked it over a great deal', and are sure they are right. She is three or four years younger than he is, and was at school at St Andrews for two years so 'can speak English, if not perfectly, at least nearly so'. It is 'no good' him trying to describe what he thinks 'are her virtues and perfections, at least not in this letter', as he needs to post it in quarter of an hour as he wants them to know as soon as possible; he is sure, however, that his parents would like both her and her relatives, of whom he has told them something. 'Neither they nor she herself are very well off, but she has a little money left her by her parents': believes her father was Dutch ambassador in China, and 'died when she was a girl'; he would therefore 'have to support her' and he is 'at present dependent [on his parents]. These are facts which must be faced' and he admits it is 'serious to marry' before he has made any money; shows the truth of his father saying he should try to 'make some at least as soon as possible'.

Meanwhile they must tell him as soon as they can what they think; knows he has not told them much, but can only say is sure that if they knew her and her family, they would think as he does 'that it would be the best possible thing for both of us'. Has a 'very high idea of her intellect and character, though she is not at all in any way brilliant or showy, except indeed her [violin] playing, which is certainly very remarkable'. George has seen her at Taormina, and will be able to tell them something about her, though Robert asks them not to do so yet, even if they 'think favourably' of the proposed marriage. They have told nobody but her uncle and aunt, who of course say that they must hear from Robert's father either directly or through him before 'anything can be settled'. Knows they must 'both be satisfied' first, and fears 'this letter is too short to do so'; he must finish it quickly to catch the post, but 'will write as soon as possible more fully'. Would be 'a great relief' if they could indicate how the matter seems to them. Does not want them to think he is acting without considering them. Gives Hubrecht's address. Wishes he had more time.

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