Pièce 1b - ‘Private comments and suggestions’ on the text of McKerrow’s poem ‘Joan of Arc’, by H. Montagu Butler

Transcript

Private comments & suggestions

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14. Better perhaps to leave out the commas as in 15, 95, 140, 141, 148.

37 & 42. A slight change?
In 37 either “the” or “our” for “one’s”. {1}
In 42 “we love” for “one loves”.

64. I should alter the interrogative here.
C.F. Yet did I follow as the voices bade,
or Yet went I, faithful, as the voices bade,
&c. &c. &c.

99. “to” hardly right after “glitter” Perhaps

And glitter into day, and leap to life.

“Wake to life” would not be bad, but the Shake in line above would have to be altered, to avoid the jingle.

101. The parenthesis of this line is rather awkward! I would either omit it, or print it as a parenthesis

(And I have been so weary, for so long),

line 136. If, as I think you mean, “the faint light” is the accusative of the object after “To watch and watch”, there should be no comma at end of 136.

161. Seems to me rather bald.—

For I had had enough of—

175. I am not clear as to the grammar. A “year” &c. does not seem in apposition with “Blown dust” and “A little cloud.”

105. Perhaps “whom” for “those”.

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{1} There are ticks in the margin by this line and the next.